Nothing lasts forever, even cold November rain.

I'm seeing one couple breaking up after another. How cruel can this world be? But then again, life isn't a bed of roses. If there are ups in life, there's bound to be downs as well. This world is beautiful. And as beautiful as it may be, it isn't perfect. Perhaps that's one of the lowest event in their life - Break up.

I woke up this morning, feeling anxious for practical exam. I don't wanna screw it up, I want to do well. Practical would be the only one along with MCQ that'd help to pull my science marks up. I went into the bathroom, washed up & showered, did my hair & came out. While waiting for B to come over, I decided to surf net to kill time. I went on Friendster & started hopping from profiles to profiles. Replied comments, left comments for the birthday girls. I went into Jacq's profile, then into her sister's. Went into her blog & linked to Jacq's.

Whilst reading, I was tearing silently. Dad took leave to accompany Zel today, he was in the living room, watching telly. I was hoping he doesn't charge in anytime soon like he always do. I don't know why but I just cannot have my loved ones being hurt, seeing them getting hurt. Not just Jacq in this situation but Jon as well. Maybe you say I'm too young to salvage this love but that isn't what I wanna do. I'm not in the right position to do such a thing. I just wanna share their pain, be there for them. It applies to my friends as well. As I went on reading, I teared more.

The other night, after we had dinner at SSC's coffeehouse, Jon & I were in the arcade, playing video games. He kept saying that he's tired, wanna head home. Maybe I'm sensitive, I felt as though he just wanted to be home, have an early night & not think about anything else. After that, we got bored & went to sit around with the rest near the pool. Dad was on my left & Jon on my right. I was stoning, then I don't know how but trails of thoughts led to thinking of how Jon must've been feeling at that moment. I still haven't recover from the shock I had from Laojie when she told me the news on Sunday then. I was eager (I know, you'll say I'm kpo. Thanks ah! -.-) to know why the break up. I want to know, I want to be there for him like how he was always there to listen to me when I rant. Maybe not all the time but he's like a big brother to me. I always remember his words, how he said that he'd be there when I get into any sorts of trouble.

To be absolutely honest, (pardon me, Shu Fen) at times I dare not get too close to him 'cos I know, I were his girlfriend, I'd feel insecure, from the way he plays with his cousins (aka me, Merlz, whoever). I kinda understand that feeling but I just cannot bring myself away from him because to me, he's like my own brother. So I play with him as I like to 'cos he's my brother. I told mom about it today, how I felt to this shocking piece of news. She told me it's fate. And I agreed.

Who knows? One day I might be in this situation as well..

Wednesday 171007


The message on the flower.

Left: I took this, randomly. Right: The flower

Left: My mom, being retarded. Right: My family

Went to school in the morning. Did maths & all. Went for lunch later on with Xiuwen & Cecilia It's nice being them! Sass came later on to meet us. They left for school to meet Mrs Ong while I headed to the LRT station with Sass. Went home, she got her stuff printed & left. All of a sudden, the house became quiet & really peaceful Lonely, I am so lonely. I have nobody for my own.

I did this to attract your attention.
Click here
My sale post (: Hee.

Thursday 181007
Met B in the morning for breakfast. Cold war 'til an hour before the paper. Headed down to school with Jac while B went to shop around at VivoCity. Waited for Sass to come & we went into school. Qiaos came, went up to the IT Resource Room at around 1230pm, talked & studied 'til it was our turn. Practical was alright. Chem was like the ultra killaz. Bio was alright. After the paper, it was raining very heavily, like cats & dogs, monkeys & donkeys. B had an umbrella, Qiaos too so we sheltered to the overhead bridge to take a bus to Compass. We were all drenched though we had umbrella with us. Our shoes have got holes! Hahah.

They wanted to eat Mac's but B cannot 'cos she's having a bad sore throat. And we had Mac's in the morning already. So we headed up to the food court to ear instead. We argued for like at least 15 minutes before we settled down. It was fucking embarrassing but I couldn't be bothered. Ate & stuff, things got better. Nel, Sass & Qiaos came up to find us. Sat around & talked. 0530pm, Nel went to find Mariel & we all went back. B accompanied me to go Boon Keng to get my cardigan (!!). Now it's with her, heh :) Yay happy me!

Came home, Jermaine called so I talked to her. She's so adorable Showered, skipped dinner. Talked to mummy & watched tv.

B was supposed to come over tomorrow & have lunch but since Daddy's on leave again, I shall stay home & accompany him. While I was talking to mom just now, she sounded as though she was gonna bring me out when she comes back from work so yay!

I've worked out my timetable for Nov, after Os end Hooray! I'll get them up here tomorrow or something. I'm tired. -yawns


I'm skipping Maths tomorrow. No one's going again so I shan't be an idiot. As much as I want to go, I'm a little lazy to wake up so early in the morning. Heh. I have a lot of mosquito bites on my legs. There's one on my feet that hurts fucking badly. Grrr! K I shall turn in now. Goodnight loves :)

Let the fun and games begin
She is spayed and broken in
Skin is cold and white
Such a lovely lonely night

Labels: emo, emotional ramblings, emotions, photos, school, thursday, wednesday