Jasmine Hello! I've been good! Yourself? Doing good I hope! Thank you, thank you (: (: (:
Shuhui Why not! I don't care :P But I want nice Maryjanes! Very hard to find. I think FEP will have. Chubby meh? I think he is ugly & .. is not :P Haha yeh yeh talk more more more :D Oh you remember having that Face Wrap program in your phone? The one that makes the face very ugly?
Cherilyn Yay okay, I'll see you then. Your brother is in Heart of God church, right? Omg I'm seeing RED RAIN everywhereeeeee.
Yf :P You never told me before, so I wouldn't know? Hahaha.
Rol After every entry, you click the scroll-down menu, instead of selecting Everyone , you click on Friends. :D Tada, only people who add you will be able to read your lj. (:
April YEH ME TOO, AIMEI SUCKS TO THE COREXX. I LOVE FACE WRAP :D
Rachaelheah Thanks UN (: Stupid noobest noob :D
Graceyeoh I just wished we could talk as often as I want us to, you know Grace? I still think of you & such, still write notes to you on post-it (this sounds lesbian-ish but you know I love you, do you not?) & hope we'd talk soon. I'll finish up the mail & send it out soon, hopefully, if time permits me to.

I tell you that I wanna go, but I wanna stay.



To be trusted is a greater compliment than to be loved.

It's gonna be a really wordy with no pictures/photos entry. Shuhui, I know you're gonna love it. Michelle, you can forget about reading.

School was boring so I skipped.
I was awoken up by a phone call from Mom at around 12plus. she asked if I wanna go for lunch so I agreed. She came home & we left. On our way to the mall, Mom's phone rang & she was walking behind me so I didn't bother her & continued walking. I heard her saying 'I'll be right there' & I was shocked, so I halted & looked back at her. She turned to me & said 'Your godpa passed away, we need to go down to the hospital now' Right at that very moment, I was stoned, very stoned, like I've suddenly forgotten how to breathe.

We took a cab down & everyone else was already there. At the lobby, walking nearer to the ward, I could hear the weepings & the sobbings. My heart was racing, I was so scared. Ward 7A, bed 29. I went over, I called out to him. I knew he heard me, he knew I was there but couldn't acknowledge. I couldn't help but allowed the tears to flow. He looked pretty fine, just that his heart isn't beating anymore, the tubes were gone, so were the oxygen bag that aid him to breathe. Godma Sue cried, Godma Irene too. Merlene was there, Pam, Jon, Aunt Doris & her husband, Uncle Allan, Aunt Helen was there too. Everyone looked like they just cried, had soiled, used tissues held in their hands.

I am so glad we went to visit him yesterday, he knew I was there. He saw me, so did I. Almost everyone visited him yesterday & that's good. Mom knew it was coming, 'cos he looked so radiant all of a sudden & usually it happens when time is up. We sat around & talked about random stuff to get our minds off. Might be going M'sia next week with Merlene & Godma Irene. They've been going almost every week! aunt Alice & Godma Sue went with them for 3 weeks already & bought hell lot of stuff back. Godma Dora came with his clothes, Aunt Alice was choosing & everyone started crying again.

Dad came. He was really busy, he couldn't make time but still, he came. Well, after all, that's his brother. (You see how complicated my family is now? It isn't my fault when I can actually mistaken my cousin for my aunt) I went out of the ward, to stand around where the rest were, suddenly, I turned & looked into the ward & I was shocked, jaws dropped. Dad cried, he has tissues in his hands & I was so shocked. I thought he wouldn't, I always thought he wouldn't. But that's one who brought him up, the one who helped him in his studies. Though things never go right for the family & went on their separated ways when Dad was in his teens, that's his brother for forty over years. Why wouldn't he cry? How strong did I thought he was? Who did I thought he was? Superman or Ultraman? He had feelings too, doesn't he? It pained me a little to know that he cried. I wnted so much to go over & hold his hands but I don't have the courage to. I was never close to Dad. Okay I was but not anymore so it's weird if I actually did that.

After that, we went over to Cambridge Road, & waited around 'til 5plus for the people to set up the tents & such. It's more like a family gathering -.- Did some administrative stuff for the newspaper & all, my name will be on it tomorrow, The Strait Times. Oh and they said that my friends who wants to visit can come! Haha no one would come la. I wouldn't mind if anyone wants to come, you can come & accompany me! I'll probably be studying (I will try, I've got Chinese on Monday!!) & just sitting around :/ I'll be so bored. I'm hoping I can bring my laptop along or something :/ Had dinner, my first meal of the day finally at 7pm. Left the place at around 8plus to rush down to school for PTM.

PTM was okay. Better than I expected (: I was so flattered please. Mrs Ong told my parents I'm hardworking (which I seriously doubt so 'cos there are people who are more hardworking than I am), a very matured girl & knows what I want, what are my goals & such. I performed better than expected for my languages but under performing for the rest. 'As you can see, she is more of an artistic person la, she failed all her sciences', Mrs Ong said & I wanted to laugh. She told me to aim for a B3/B4 for my Chinese (which I immediately went O.O at her) & she told me to work really hard for my Maths. She told Daddy I asks when I don't understand & I asks sensible questions. I wonder who, to her, does not. Haha. Went off at around 0935, got home, showered & watched tv :D I hate Aimei, fucking bitchslutwhore.

I'm exhausted, just hear me. If it's you, it's you. If it's not you, just read & be a listener/reader.

Rant one: I hate what you've done to her, you know? You were at fault, I just wish you knew that. I hate the way you dress, & I'm not the only one, I just wish you knew that too. You disgust me at times, seriously, I'm sorry to say.

Rant two: I just wish I had more time for you. So we wouldn't be like that, like how we are right now. And I wish you'd just feel how I'm feeling here, all these while. Weren't the previous few times we hang out, I was the one who asked you? Someday, I will get sick & tired of doing that, just someday. I'm sorry I only have twenty-four hours a day & I don't even have enough time to sleep but I'll make time, from now on, for you. Because you still mean tons to me, afterall.

Rant three: I hope you & him are still together. I wanted to mail you to ask if you were allright but I didn't wanna spoil your mood by having my name & email appearing in your inbox as one of the new emails the next time you log on. I still want you to be happy, you know that? I still hope, one day you'd tell me why did we fall out & break apart as friends.

And this is the last (I hope) & the happiest one.

I cannot wait (click) with you. I cannot wait (click) with you either. I cannot wait to get (click) from you 'cos I know they'd taste the sweetest, the best. The long awaited Great Singapore Sales is here & we're both excited about it, I cannot wait to shop my fat ass off with you at (click) & get something you really like at (click), especially that that you've been eying on. I wanna make you (click) like how you make me.

I wanna go to places that I dream of going with you, with you. I want these dreams to come true. I wanna see y♥u as often as I wish to. Don't y♥u want it too?

JAMIE'S FRIENDSTER COMMENT JUST REMINDED ME SOMETHING. MY VIDEO WAS PLAYED DURING PTM & I FUCKING MISSED IT. I didn't tell my parents about it 'cos I just wanted to show them what I've done & all, meant to be a little (lame) surprise but aw, we missed it & Mom even told Mrs Ong about it. Mrs Ong told my mom that teachers were impressed & didn't know that I've got such talent. Mom wants to watch it. It's completely nothing, really. It's just a plain video piled up with photos & more photos of the graduating cohort during the 3-day camp -.-


Talking to J now (: She's having her last paper tomorrow so yay for her! She just went off to sleep by the way. It's one minute into 1am, an hour & one minute into 25 May, which means I'm left with 2 more days to study for my Chinese. I'll practice tomorrow when I wake up :) I'm gonna sleep now! Super tired, I swear. I had such a long & tiring day. Goodnight sweethearts :)

So I'm trying to hold it all together & make it through the day,
When I'm just dying to drop it all & take your hand,
So we can run away from all the miles & the hours
That seem to endlessly devour the time that I could be with you.

Labels: blockquote, ptm, skipped school, sorrows, thursday