Vonn Hey babes. Why -.-! I wasn't fucked up 'cos you called my name yeh, if you're -.- because of that. Anyhoos, I find it's so disappointing to see me :/ As in, my readers seeing me. ):
April I love my ft :) Heh. & she looks like - :) :) :) :) How exciting. Heh. I need the bio book!! >:(
Hello heartache, you're like an old friend; come& see me again.
I was feeling so troubled at school but I have no idea what is it. I tried making myself feel better but I don't know why, it just doesn't work. And the worst thing is that, I don't even know why am I feeling this way. Oh well, I thought I'd probably know it or hopefully feel better when I get home. But no I guess. Sigh.
Anyway, I really like this cheena song.
(Click on the green icon to play, wait for it load)
Click here for dah lyrics.
I'm not a big fan of cheena songs but some really express my emotions & some are how exactly I'm feeling at the moment in time. Best used this song to make a video for her love :) I like the video, berry sweet & yeh the song, touched me as well.
Right so school was as usual today. I was in my worst, longest, highest belt uniform which is so damn bloody uncomfortable. Why? 'Cos Mrs Ong told us that every Mon, Wed & Fri, she is gonna do a regular spot check on our attire. How annoying. But I guess she had to do this 'cos she's in the discipline department & she can't not do anything to it when everyone is complaining about 5B's attire issue. :/ Anyway Bio was the first period. I cannot stand her squeaky & throat infection voice. :/ Worse of the worst, I haven't got my bio textbook. So kind souls who takes Bio & do not need that ugly green with spider & tiger book anymore, please I beg you, donate it to Glynis. She needs it to study, to be less distracted in class, so that she'll pay attention & not daydream even more when she have actually spent half her day daydreaming away. Your help would be much appreciated. (:
So during bio, we were learning about glands which sounds like Glyns & it's so irritating! Haha. Bestaye kept calling me, kept saying that I produce sweat & milk(?). Ew sounds so gross! Hahaha. After Bio was SS. Got back our test & I got 13/20 :) Rather happy. The first time I'm passing SS after that 20/25 back in 2004, when I was in Sec3. Heh. I'm gonna try to love SS la, I have to. Chinese is stupid, really. But I learned 6 words today & I'm proud of myself.
And I have to say this. I was also feeling so disguised & disgusted today at school. I don't know if it's because I didn't know how to let out that bag of unknown feelings(K in the first place, I don't even know what is it) in me. It was so uneasy. Anyone of you have felt that way before? I think this is my first & I hope this would be the last time as well(I doubt so).
Had recess(ha I couldn't even eat in peace) then English. Miss Chew came in & started scolding the class like mad. I wonder if she already know that our class wants to appeal to change English teacher. She's nice when she is not teaching, honestly. Did compre & lazed around. It was time for bio again. I was just copying whatever Miss Rai had on the board. I'll have to copy it back into my notebook once I'm done with the decorating & all. We only had one period of Maths so it's damn short. Only managed to go through a few questions. Talked to Mrs Ong for awhile after that & she sent us off to English class. Finished up my compre during English & dismissed.
Accompanied Shyan to Compass. Bought my sketchbook, files & whatnot. Went down to Mos, Shyan bought her food. Sass & Shermin came over to say hi& they accompanied me to buy food for mummy & after that, I went home.
I find it so upsetting that the memories you've selected to
keep are the bad but the good, you just forget.
Ugh there's Art tmr & I need to start my research again. Oh fuck & tmr I think we need to stay until the school gate close for Art again, like last year. Grr...
I realised it has been hard on Mom, though she doesn't show it, doesn't tell Dad about it. I know she doesn't wanna affect Dad with her emotions but I thought it'd be better if she had told Dad how she feel & all. I mean, telling each other how you feel towards something in a relationship, to me, it's important. It's something that I want to make it a habit with my partner in the near future. I like sharing my thoughts with the one I love; be it good or bad.
Should I go for dinner or not? Ugh I guess I should. I'd still be online later, maybe I'll blog more. I have to much to rant.
[Edited]
K I'm home from dinner & I guess I found out why I was so troubled & everything. I needed a big loud cry to let out everything I've been keeping inside of me, I guess. I feel so overstressed & all I was trying so hard to hold back my tears in dad's car just now. I didn't wanna cry in front of them. Mom thought that I'm coping well but no I guess I worry a little too much. I can't help not worrying. I need a new tutor who doesn't aeroplanes me all the time. I understand that she is busy with her life as well but I mean, if she really can't find the time to teach me, why not just let me know? Ugh
Just now when we were on our way home, Mom was talking about how miserable she was when she was expecting us, both Zel & I. & I kept saying, I shouldn't have asked for a sister then probably now, I'd get whatever I want. I knew that Zel was hurt but I was wondering.. What if Mom wasn't pregnant with her, what would life be like right now? Come to think about it, Zel did helped me in some things. Usually when I'm in trouble :D Heh.
Anyhoos I've just printed my Art stuff. I think I'll go finish a little of Thursday's maths & go to sleep. I'm not feeling that bad now. I guess I'm a lot better now :) I'm kinda worried(yeh again) for school tmr. My attire, my Art stuff & a lot more la. I don't know why am I worrying so much. Ughhhhhh
P/s: Actually.. What is the worst thing you've ever done?
P/p/s: Maineylove, cheer up okay & I love you :) I hope everything goes well allright! Bighugs.
P/p/p/s: Happy birthday to fifty-years-no-change love <3
I'm sorry.
[/Edited]
The deepest of my thoughts raced through my head that night.
A smile spreads across my face; beautiful is this life.
Labels: edited, imeem, monday, school
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